In order to improve self-esteem, several avenues are available to us since, as we now know, self-esteem fluctuates according to our social contacts. So, far from being definitive, you can work to nurture this dimension of your identity, but how?
You must already know what self-esteem is and how this concept affects our daily thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. In this article, we want to share with you concrete ways to nurture self-esteem!
Experts suggest working on your self-esteem through the practice of self-acceptance in a few steps:
Recognize Your Protection Mechanisms.
Take the time to observe and listen to yourself as you interact. You know, protection mechanisms are normal and even necessary sometimes. However, when they are indicators of low self-esteem, they must be recognized as such, as an observation, without judgment.
Then, question the relevance of this mechanism. If, for example, you observe that you are fleeing a subject in order to camouflage a part of you for fear of being judged. You might ask yourself: do I have to be perfect? The answer will lead you to assume the limits that your questioning reflects on you, that is to say: No one is asking you to be perfect!
Become Aware Of Your Internal Narrative.
Considering the importance of the implication of thoughts on the suffering of people, it is important to dwell on it. When you notice a negative or demeaning internal discourse, slow down and try to target what underlies the emergence of this discourse, its trigger. It may be that it was activated by a difficulty you are having, disproportionate demands on you, or even a comment from others. Try to nuance and perhaps rephrase the self-criticism. Is this thought rational, or does it come from a perception/emotion? Is it nuanced or excessive? Ask yourself how to recognize this thought without giving it more importance than it requires or denying its relevance.
Develop A Benevolent Internal Discourse.
Pay particular attention to the choice of words and vocabulary, which can be constructive or destructive. You know, self-esteem is the emotion that we experience at the idea of the perception of others on ourselves. When you use demeaning, negative, or definitive talk about yourself, it tends to feed that negative self-image. When, for example, you find yourself failing and intercepting the following internal discourse, "I'm never going to make it, I'm really bad, and I'll never succeed," you might wonder if really the term "NEVER" is factual or even useful. Does your self-talk of "telling yourself that you will never succeed" contribute to your success and well-being? You could rephrase and say to yourself, for example, "It's more complex than I thought to do something new," or even, "This task requires more concentration and work than usual." In this way, you acknowledge your difficulty but do not allow it to define your self-worth.
Practice Assertiveness
The practice of assertiveness, accepting compliments, expressing boundaries, and respecting feelings can also be beneficial strategies for solidifying self-esteem.
Dr. Wendy M. O'Connor is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Los Angeles, California. If you are looking for a Psychotherapist in Los Angeles, visit The Traffic Light Center website and book your session to find the solution to your problem.
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