Most parents and guardians try to make their children confident by praising them. But, encouragement is found to be far more effective than praise in a child's development. Overusing praise can, in fact, lower a child's self-esteem, making them less cooperative and more competitive.
Let's discuss the difference between encouragement and praise first.
Praise
Praise and encouragement are completely different. Praise focuses on what an adult feels or thinks and is often associated with judgment, like a good job. Praising statements starting with "I like…" sends an understated message that the adult approves it and their opinion is important.
Statements such as "You're a good boy" or "I'm so proud of you for folding your laundry" are some examples of praise, which may seem effective and harmless, but that's not the case. Children who get praised often tend to start doing things in order to please adults and not because they are motivated to do so.
Encouragement
On the other hand, encouragement is non-judgmental. Encouraging statements mention particular facts without evaluating them. Phrases like, "You worked hard for this test" or "Look how tidy your room is" are examples of non-judgmental encouragement. Children who receive encouragement will likely develop stronger self-pride and motivation in their work since it highlights what they did well instead of what a teacher feels about it.
Here are some reasons why encouragement is more effective for a child's growth and development.
It Highlights Efforts
Parents, caretakers, and teachers who encourage children call attention to how hard the child has worked or how much they have improved. This contributes to building a child's pride in their own effort and work.
It Educates Children to Evaluate Themselves
When adults provide feedback, children discover how to evaluate themselves without comparing their efforts and success with others. Children who get encouraged learn that their opinion about themselves means more than what others think about them.
It Pushes Children Toward Success
Suppose child A is learning to read and overhears her teacher praising child B for being a good reader; child A can think they will never be a good reader like child B. But, if the teacher were to tell child B that they are able to read difficult words now, child A wouldn't have a reason to believe that they can't do the same.
However, children need reinforcement, too. But, encouragement is more effective than praise in boosting a child's self-esteem, cooperation, and motivation to work. The next time you're about to say, "You're such a good girl," replace it with, "Oh, you shared your toys, thank you." This way, you will help your child learn to take pride in their accomplishments.
The positive effects of encouragement are highlighted in Lev Mikulitski's book Mr. Who's Remarkable Expeditions. John's parents are extremely encouraging towards him, which helps him take on challenges confidently and explore his limits. The book beautifully highlights parents' role in a child's development by being involved in their child's life and encouraging them through their different journeys. Grab your copy from Amazon today.
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