Pick-up Secrets: Basics of the Mystery Method

Pick-up Secrets: Basics of the Mystery Method
7 min read
29 December 2022

Mystery (Erik von Markovik), is probably the world’s most famous pick-up artist. He and his student and friend Style (Neil Strauss, author of the book “The Game”), created a well structured theory regarding picking-up and seducing women.

Their theory is based on 3 basic components: Attraction, Comfort and Seduction. Each of these components consists of 3 phases, so that the whole theory includes 9 phases. Here they are:

Attraction 1 (A1) –Opening

Attraction 2 (A2) – Attracting

Attraction 3 (A3) – Qualifying

Comfort 1 (C1) – Connection

Comfort 2 (C2) – Trust

Comfort 3 (C3) – Intimacy

Seduction (S1) – Arousal

Seduction (S2) – Last-Minute Resistance

Seduction (S3) – Sex

It doesn’t mean that every interaction needs to go that way, and in many cases the order might be different. some girls might go for sex almost immediately. However, this is the basic process, and it works. I will write some more posts regarding different methods, where the steps are different. But to begin, I believe this is a very good method to learn.


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Attraction 1 – Opening

This step is practically rather easy. You need to approach a woman and begin a conversation. According to the Mystery Method, the opener doesn’t have much importance.

The main problem with the opening phase is Fear of Approach, which prevents men from freely approaching women. Because of that, Mystery created his 3 Seconds Rule – You must approach a women within 3 seconds from the moment you see her.

While approaching, you need to convey minimum interest – Don’t walk away to her, but try to come from an angle, and make it seem as if you are about to move away.

“Canned” Opener – The purpose of the opener is simply to open a conversation. If the girl responds and talks with you, the opener is successful. Mystery suggests using “Canned Openers” that you remember and can easily use. If a conversation began – you’ve finished A1.

Attraction 2 – Attracting

In this phase, you are supposed to make the girl attracted to you. This is done by conveying Attractive male qualities. I’ve a separate article regarding attractive male qualities. In this phase you need to show, indirectly, that you possess those qualities.

Mystery suggests lots of canned materials to use during the attraction phase. I will discuss methods to convey attractive qualities in a further post.

Don’t give compliments in this phase, you need to show the girl that you still don’t like her.

Attraction 3 – Qualifying

This is a crucial phase. After the attraction 2 phase, the woman should be now interested in you.

Now, you need to give a woman a legitimate reason for which you are interested in her. Why? Because otherwise she we feel that you want her without any reason, maybe beside her looks. She likes you because you are such a cool and attractive guy. But if you just want her for no reason – then maybe you are not so cool after all.

In this phase, you need to make the girl deserve your interest. You need to make her “Qualify” for you.

You can ask her questions in which you check if she is appropriate for you. For example, you might ask: “Do you know how to cook?”, “How friendly are you?”, “Do you do any spiritual activities?”, etc.

Or you can let her tell you things about herself and impress you.

Anyway, this is the phase to give the girl compliments on things that are NOT her looks. If she tells you that she likes to cook a lot and tells you about food she knows to prepare – compliment her. Even tell her that you are impressed that she knows to cook so well, and that you like this in a girl.

Do you get the point? You need the girl to do and tell you things, so she feels that she deserves you interest and compliments.

Comfort 1,2,3

The comfort phases are the longest ones. The whole attraction part should take you not more than half an hour. You make the girl attracted to you and she feels that you also like her for the “Legitimate” reasons.

Comfort is the component, in which you make the comfortable with you. You need to establish connection, trust and rapport.

This is important, because unlike men, who might agree to have sex without knowing the girl. Women (except rare cases), won’t have sex with a guy without feeling deep connection.

The 3 phases of comfort are divided only by the location.

Comfort 1 is happening in the same place where you met the girl, the attraction location. In C2, it needs to take place in a separate place where you need to take the girl from the attraction location. If you met the girl in a club or a bar, in C2 you will take the girl out to drink coffee, eat some pizza, etc.

C3 will take place in you Seduction location, usually you apartment.

During Comfort, don’t initiate anything sexual. Of course, you need to touch the girl from the beginning.

Comfort should be fun and enjoying. Comfort needs to include a kiss.

Seduction 1,2,3

Seduction is the last component of the Mystery Method. The end of seduction is sex. Don’t initiate S1 (arousal) unless you know exactly how S3 (sex) will happen. It should begin at you seduction location.

Women have very strong Anti-Slut defenses. Women love sex and they want to be seduced, but they don’t want to be sluts.

If you make a girl feel aroused in a club or restaurant, she will feel that going to your apartment is just to have sex, which makes her feel like a slut.

A woman knows that if she goes to you place, sex is a possibility. But don’t make her feel that sex is the only reason.

S2, the phase between the beginning of the seduction and the sex, is the last minute resistance. Due to various reasons, women might have resistance to have sex during the last time. Be sure that you know how to deal with that resistance. Usually the best thing to do is to show that you are not that interested in sex, and immediately retreat.

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