The child of today is the adult of tomorrow, and it is for this reason that children's education is at the heart of building a society. Parents play a key role in this process by transmitting part of what constitutes their child's personality. Over time, educational methods have evolved, leading to an education that tries to unite certain forms of firmness with benevolence in order to provide the child with the framework allowing him to fulfill himself and flourish, but also to better know, understand and accept one's limits.
Why Is It Important To Be Obeyed By Your Children?
It is important to be able to make oneself obeyed because this is an essential means in order to be able to transmit to the child our own values and principles of life. Children must therefore understand that there are limits not to be exceeded and rules to be respected; this will allow them to understand that the world works according to very specific rules, which it is important to respect in order to be able to live in a community and integrate into society (this is the social contract).
How to Be Authoritative With Benevolence?
Parents can sometimes be faced with difficult parenting situations, leading them to believe that they have to use force to make themselves heard. Several factors can come into play, such as:
- The parent's own upbringing;
- Pressure and physical or mental overload (professional or otherwise);
- Comparison with other parents;
- The stress ;
- The fear of not being good enough.
Take Care
In order to be able to educate without being forced to shout, it is important that you first take care of yourself and that you are attentive to your needs or sufferings. Especially in case of stress or professional or relational overload, so as not to transmit this stress to your children.
Be Sure To Choose the Right Tone.
Children are sensitive and can easily withdraw into themselves and trigger a defense mechanism when faced with shouting. Be sure to use the right tone in order to express the substance of your thoughts: it is then preferable to explain your dissatisfaction to them calmly rather than by shouting (which deprives them of an explanation). Your child will tend to be more receptive to a situation that he calmly understands.
Let Go When It Matters.
Some parents can tend to be very demanding of their children, but it is advisable to know how to let go in certain situations. Indeed, it is sometimes better to focus on the essentials, such as the values you want to pass on to your child, rather than on secondary elements.
Be Specific In Your Requests.
This particularly concerns young children; it is important to take the necessary time to explain to them what your expectations are and to understand that a child is not an adult and that he often only finds out what we adults have known for a long time. You should make sure that they have understood your request and that you don't feel frustrated too quickly because learning is gradual. This will avoid situations of anger that would only accentuate their incomprehension and their possible suffering.
Show Your Child Your Appreciation.
It is important to compliment your child and show him your satisfaction with the accomplishments. This allows you to nurture your self-confidence and assert yourself.
Talk With Your Child.
It is advisable to discuss with your child the problem you are encountering; the fact of involving him could thus be beneficial by allowing him to better understand the meaning of your education. This would remove the feeling of obeying an order, but instead of participating in decision-making, generating a more impactful and beneficial effect.
Show Him Your Love
It's important to show your love and care for your child, even when being bossy. Indeed, it is not a question of yelling at him and punishing him instinctively. The latter must manage to feel your love even when you tighten the frame; this will prevent the child from any danger and false ideas that may cross his mind, such as "if my parents are arguing with me, it's because they don't like me."
Be Kind to Yourself.
There is no manual to follow to the letter in order to be a good parent. This role is learned over time; it will require you to adapt and be attentive to your needs and your child's needs.
Therefore, it is important to be kind to yourself in stressful situations and realize that this is the life experience of every family in the world.
Favor an education based on non-violence, understanding, and communication to establish a climate that will allow your child to evolve in complete safety and allow you, as a dad or mom, to flourish during your parenting experience.
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