This age-old conundrum is complicated by the relaxed standards of dress and social mores of today. In Victorian times, the answer was clear: only black formalwear was appropriate. What was once considered appropriate attire for a funeral has evolved in recent years.
Rules of Thumb
Most people agree that funeral dress should always reflect the life and personality of the person who has passed away. When in doubt, senior people are better off dressing conservatively in darker, more formal attire. Several references recommend dressing like you would for work.
However, without the symbols of their lifestyle, a burial for an aspiring biker or a person who had a particularly showy or unconventional lifestyle would seem odd. Mourners who are unsure of the appropriate funeral clothes can contact the family for clarification.
Dressing appropriately for a funeral: guidelines for both Genders
Traditionally, males attending a funeral are expected to dress in a black or dark suit, a white dress shirt, and a conservative tie. The conventional suit is still appropriate, but modifications like as dark turtle necks or even stylish T-shirts under jackets are still acceptable today.
What is appropriate for ladies to wear black funeral dress has also evolved over time. The traditional black-tie attire is now optional. At a summer funeral, even a black or dark-colored cocktail dress is acceptable. Hats are still a great way to accessorize, but like with the rest of a woman's outfit, anything too flashy must be avoided unless there is a special occasion.
'Just being there' is the most vital component.
Being there is more important than dressing to the nines and obeying the letter of the 'what to put on at a funeral' dress code, so long as reasonable attempts are taken to show proper respect and match the deceased's desires.
You are allowed to dress however you like including black dress for funeral, but you must respect any requests made by the family or friends of the dead regarding appropriate attire. Perhaps they requested that everyone wear bright colors, that no one wear black, or that everyone wear something else completely out of the ordinary. A young woman with a penchant for the Goth subculture had requested precisely black and purple mourning clothing. There was even talk of a burial with a theme on online community.
Preplanning your funeral attire by noting your style preferences is possible.
You can direct how you want your loved ones to dress at your funeral by planning it yourself. Maybe you want everyone to dress in bright colors, or maybe you want the men to wear colorful ties & the women to don eye-catching hats.
You can express your condolences and share your recollections of the deceased if you feel so moved to do so. There are times when finding out what caused a person's death is unnecessary. Instead, you can choose to be a sympathetic ear and encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings with you. You should meet the loved ones and express your condolences if you plan to attend a wake.